People Move On

So yesterday I attended a wedding and it finally began to hit me, that a lot of people are moving on with their lives.

I could tell you that quite a handful of my friends in Minneapolis are either moving for their job or getting married. And, quite frankly, it's freaking me out. I started crying thinking about it. I couldn't tell if it was the alcohol that had initiated it, but I didn't have that much so I guess I could say it really didn't. Jeff had been there when it started, and he's included in people that may be moving/leaving me.

So how am I supposed to handle this? Clearly, be supportive. It's their life. But, Lisa is moving to CA, Jeff might be moving after school, Alice is moving to Richmond, Aneessa is in NYC, Sam, Kelly, Sarah are getting married. Katie Kennedy will be engaged before we know it. Carly is married in New Mexico. That's a HANDFUL of my good friends.

Does that mean, make new friends and keep the old ones? I don't have time right now for new friends. Seriously. Of course I'd travel to see them, but that of course costs money. Or, what came to my mind as well is, am I doing enough? Should I be happy with my job? Am I happy with my job? Am I happy in Minneapolis? Do I need to move?

I think clearly these things need to be top of mind for me for the next couple of months. Especially once Jeff figures out what he wants to do. Yes, I love him. Yes, his sarcastic humor and jokes drive me nuts and its his goal to get under my skin to push my buttons. We have fun, we get along great, we fight, we're a couple. But, is it fair for me to be in a long-distance relationship with someone when they can't even tell me they love me? Like, am I really wasting my time? Or no. I told him I don't want to be wasting my time anymore, I've made it clear that there needs to be a light at the end of the tunnel, but this whole I love you factor is REALLY starting to get to me. And this might be a question for me to ask him.

Do you think it's fair to me to go into a long distance relationship with you if you don't love me?

Do you think it's fair for me to put the time into something that could put us on opposite sides of the country when you can't tell me you love me?

I think it's time to start putting the pressure on if there is a long distance relationship in the future. I think I need to lay down the line. He's tired of being pressured, but it's too late.

I do need to talk to someone about it, when we get to that point. Probably Rachel.