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It's almost like I'm a bad luck charm. Seriously.

A DWI. Probably getting fired. Who knows if he'll pass the LPE. Yeah, that's my boyfriend.

Am I really invested in him to be supporting him while he goes through this? Isn't that something you would do if you were going to marry someone? The thing is, I'm not sure if he'd do the same thing for me.

Would he?

I feel like I'm supposed to be missing him this week while he's gone. Truthfully, it's actually been fine. I don't know if it's because I know he's happy and he's doing something he wants/loves. Or, if it's nice to have a break from him.

He needs to get his shit together. The less he has his shit together, the more unattractive he gets.

I hope he passes the LPE. If there happens to be a long distance relationship, I need to know he's truly invested in this. Is it worth it? Not just for him, but I need to think that. I'm almost getting to a point where I'm not sure it's worth it. I'm going to be waiting a LONG time for him.

I'm sick of waiting. I'm sick of him not having his shit together. To be honest, I think that can affect our long distance relationship because he doesn't have his life together. His focus is going to be on other things, and it won't be on me.

I need to think about me here. I think he needs to think about him. He says he needs a new start, and I think he needs a new start even without me. I'm going to be put on the back burner for a while, he's not even going to be here. I just don't know if it makes any sense anymore what I'm doing.

So, am I truly invested in this man? Is he worth waiting for?

I'm really not even sure anymore.